Reaching into My Soul

I'm starting to wish that my love for writing and expressing myself in words would comeback. I could swear that I used to be pretty decent, and to some, I was even considered good at this. Oh no... writer's block? Whatever it is, I wish it would end and allow my feelings and ideas to simply flow to the extent of my own liking.

Enough of that.

Ok, so here's the thought I really wanted to entertain in tonight's post: Music.

Yes, music. I've been playing music, or what I know of it for the last four years or so; maybe longer, maybe not. But I seem to be stuck in the same place with my music as I am in my writing and this ought not to be, especially because they're both practices of delight for me and I absolutely feel drawn to them in the sense of a self calling. Do I think God, this Earth, and the people around me really care if I play or write? Perhaps not. But this is the beauty in it all because regardless of what everyone else wants or cares about, it's you that has to hunger for this growth and when it comes to self improvement it's going to be you that decides whether you want it or not.

I ran some errands today and as I was at a red light in front of a small café, I watched from the car and tried my best to block everything out so I could hear this musician who was playing alone on the small stage with a rather small audience of listeners and the feeling I got was a sense of urgency to learn more, do more, and play more. I couldn't hear what he was playing but it didn't matter because he had the confidence in himself to do it regardless.

I've taken my guitar outdoors a few times and played on Alondra Blvd. in front of the church I attend and

the feedback you get from people driving by is pretty amazing, and exciting. I've even wandered across the idea with some of my church peeps on learning a good group of songs, picking up a small team of singers, with some kind of percussion, like some bongos and heading to Starbucks and just having a good jam session outside. No money required, no sought after fame, no huge crowd following, but just a small group of people who care to listen to some soul-filled music and appreciate it.

In time maybe I'll find my own small stage, with a stool and a small spot light to break the nervousness of just playing. The end.

Blogger!

I'm feeling a bit hesitant as to how I want to start this blog. I'm not sure if it's because I've been away from my writing/blogging for a while or because of the fact that I maybe have been searching for a new blogging platform (which by the way would be my second platform and third blog address, yikes).
Anyways, so I've been away for about 5 months now, and in my time that seems to be forever without writing or translating my thoughts for the little group of readers I get here and there. Believe me, it wasn't in my plans to be on halt for this long; I guess I was in such a state of limbo that I was constantly experiencing feelings and emotions that I thought were gone for good, but obviously most folks know how that goes. There is nothing but frustration when you're trying to bleed something out of your system that's become part of you in a sense, and it isn't easy because it feels like you're denying yourself and I'm sure no one enjoys that process. Right?

I'll reserve more of this for a later blog. Let's move on.

I'm currently participating in a time of examination with the church I attend, and although it's unnamed I'm simply calling it "Renewal 40". It's forty days of examination in ones personal space, life, home, family, job, and anything else you can throw in there. I know in my personal life I need all the examination I can get, and that doesn't come at all easy to admit but I know for a fact you don't get any ingestion problems when swallowing your pride.

As much as I'd like to go on I think Three a.m. is way past my bed time. I'll drop in for another post when the Sun's up and about.

p.s. In no way is this examination period tied in with ramadan. Okay bye.

A World Without Pain?

I read an article not too long ago on CNN that was referenced from a book I read a few months ago. However, it didn’t necessarily come into contact with any sympathy on my part and the feeling to spread the word and make it a learning process for others; so I reread the book again and it just clicked better the second time around. What this is balanced around is the thought of removing ‘evil’ from the world. An issue like this is often found in the argument against God.

Now listen, I completely understand that this world isn’t always nice, and life definitely is not fair. But us faith believers often remind ourselves in comfort that “it rains on the just and the unjust alike”. Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens have all made the arguments that this world would be far better if it had no idea or concept of God; I disagree, not only because of my emotional attachment to God, but because I find more reason in faith and belief in God than I do in no God at all. Anyways...

Let’s get back to the topic at hand.

Without pain in this world, we ultimately lose the experience of feeling of reality in this world. It’s the felt reality that we can all relate to, whether we believe in God or not... All of us can relate; or can we?

There are about 100 people in the world we live in today that do NOT suffer at the expense of pain, but they do in fact suffer with the rare malady that involves insensitivity to pain. It’s called CIPA - Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis. People with this disease feel no pain, nor do they shed tears. What a way to live, right?

One case in particular is the story of little Gabby Gingras, who has to be watched over constantly. At four months of age, her parents noticed she would bite her fingers till they would bleed, with no expression of discomfort or pain. At two

years of age she had to have her teeth removed to prevent her from biting herself and causing serious injury. She always has to wear safety glasses because in one instance she literally scratched her eye till she begin to damage her cornea very badly.

She plays sports with absolute fearlessness, never hesitant about banging into anything. She says she sometimes feels like crying, but can’t. The average life span for a child with this malady is twenty-five years. The parents of children who suffer from CIPA have but one prayer - that their child would or could feel pain.

It’s sad that these atheists fear pain so much, that they’d be willing to try and attempt at removing the center piece of our creation, the author of this earths origin, its meaning, its morality, and all of its destiny just so that they could crawl further away from the idea and the very experience of pain.

Wow, amazing. At least I believe so.

All is fair.

Ok, I'm back from my absence of mind and thought... wait, scratch that. The truth is that I've been doing so much thinking that I wouldn't even know where to begin with it, or if I should even call it "thinking". It feels much more than the natural, ha, I know right; it sounds super crazy, if that. But with all this mind time, I found a single spot to fully concentrate on, pick at, and even try my best to depict exactly what it is, in a nutshell. Kinda like finding a single imprint in a DNA strip. Which is not as simple as it seems - If it even does sound simple, or possible.

I’ve done my fair share of being quite the optimist I believe I’m supposed to be. However, optimism isn’t without its challenge of honesty, which is often the part that stops people from being a positive and optimistic being to begin with. So I’ve found sense in discovering myself before stepping into the shoes of others, and it makes perfect sense according to chinese proverbs, philosophy on life, and fortune cookies for all I know. I’m quickly finding that laughter can be healthy even if and when I’m expressing my feelings for you avid readers.

A saying that I’ve become quite attached to is “God is Love” and I know from the bottom of my heart that it’s real, because God is real, but I must also come to a real conclusion and know for a fact that I stand for that, and that I must live it.

Do I truly believe it though? My answer would be yes, Absolutely! Where I’m finding the problem with this is that in order for it to become more than just a ritualistic thought, I must be impulsive about it, spontaneous with this message of Love. I’ve fallen completely in love with this idea, but I admit that I haven’t fully personalized it yet; what’s the idea of Love without

a personal touch?

I know now that even after all these years that I’ve proclaimed the messages of the Christ in my life, they were merely uttered words with no depth, fraud words and shallow actions. I felt so disgusted at my failed attempts, I felt a deep deep surge of conviction on my behalf. It let me know that I needed to seek Love at its most beautiful meaning, and that is God.

I know that in order to claim anything, you have to have relationship. You see, before God could deem man as “complete”, he had to give the man a Relationship on more than just one dimension. God claimed seven times in his creation that “it was good” before he finally said “it is not good” and he continued to form a help for Adam and with that, Man became complete.

I don’t feel broken, but for some strange reason I still feel that I do need some fixing. I guess some would say that that’s just me being optimistic, after all, that is what I’m aiming for. And that’s that. I'm wondering how I'm going to find the right words for times like this when I stumble across such a simple principle with so much light. I’ll let you know when I scrap the rest of this thought together. It can happen, right?

God. More than Imagination?

So I was listening to a lecture a few days ago by Dr. Francis Collins. After hearing what he had to say I was very interested in wanting know more about the man, so I went to Information's greatest source, Google. 

Not only did I find that he is the co mapper of the human DNA but I also found this column which was on based on the topic of Life and they introduced him with this: “Dr. Collins’s credentials are impeccable: he is a physical chemist, a medical geneticist and the former head of the Human Genome Project. He is also, by his own account, living proof that there is no conflict between science and religion.”

Also, he just happens to be beloved by President Obama, and was nominated by the President to be the Director of the National Institutes of Health.

Before I go on, please understand, knowledge is knowledge. I do my best to not 

be biased based on one's belief system but naturally it kind of happens, right? I went to see a "Does God Exist?" debate In April held by Biola University. I listened to both sides openly, but I couldn't argue that at the end of the night it just made more sense for me to believe in God based on more information than just my personal feeling and outlook on Life. 

So this lecture by Dr. Collins was very gratifying and rich with information. A man who studied and mapped the human DNA could confess that there was a God. 

During one of his lectures he showed the audience a slide of the "Rose Window" from York Minster. Without having to

hear anything else, you could simply look at the stain glass window and see its beauty, the time, and creation of a great mind simply coming into works. 

He than revealed another slide of the " View along the Axis of the ß DNA double Helix", which revealed true workmanship, a great(er) mind, and just beauty in the creation of the Human Body. Just in the Image of the DNA alone, you're seeing the majesty, the geometry, and you're looking at the chemical imprint  within our own Life. 3.1 Billion bits of information just in that strand within a small section of our DNA. Amazing!!!

If you were to look at the Rose Window alone; all those thousands of pieces of color, shapes, and sizes and confess to yourself that by some chance they just happened to come together without workmanship, intelligence, and an articulate mind, one could admit that you know nothing of art. 

So, friends, how much more the strand of DNA? I cannot convince myself that by some chance, matter, and time we all came to be. 

When we try to find reason coming from non reason than that's where somebody has to cry halt. 

Atheism, and Evolution could never answer the four questions of Life, which are "Origin, Meaning, Destiny, and Morality" - I'm sorry. It just can't be done from the view points of men who don't truly appreciate what we are, and why we're here on Earth.

When you think of Life, think of its greatest emotion... Love.

Remember this: God Is Love, and Love is Real, Because God is Real.

Just a little Tribute.

[This was a poem I wrote when I started my first semester in college for english and poetry. I'll admit, I got an outstanding grade, but not because it was well written, or had a good sense of grammar but probably because a little bit of everybody who has a walk of faith(which my professor did) could perhaps relate to it in more than one way. So, here it is.]


"Ricky's portrate"

I once had a dream that held everything within my life.
It held my passions, my joys, my sorrows and strife.
Too long to tell but I'll give you the best part.
It held beauties unmeasured and sorrows of heart.

I walked long and narrow roads filled with green pastures so divine.
So beautiful to look at, with gladness of mind.
Flowers blooming and spring at hand, to good to be true.
This had to a dream for it was not part of my Land.

As I walked into a forest ahead,
I noticed the tree's so lifeless and Dead.

My mind was struck in confusion
"How could this be the place I was lead?"

The tree's were dark and leafless.
Flowers started dying.
The pastures were lonely and no beauty was lying.

Suddenly, my heart dropped and tears begin to flow.
Like a river of my eyes so over flowing even to the ground below.
Tears unquenched due to my lost Confidence.
I know the Grass is greener, I'm just on the wrong side of the Fence.

Things begin to flash before my wet and heavey eyes.
Things I didn't Remember, like all my hate and lies.
In all of this, at least I noticed the clear path in the skies.

This must have been the Hand of God,
so many times it was in my Life.
But sometimes in disguise.

Question's arose "why, why, why...?"
But I knew this was HIM,
To evident to deny.

But my pity got me down,
My logic struck me hard.
I thought my Pride kept me steady, but only hurt and onguard.

I finally begin to see the Vague image in my life,
of what I used to be.

I started to smile!
Still carrying a lot of that load, and what was left of Me.

Reaching the End of this Road I begin to sweat out my fears and hurts,
and noticed the Colorful tone.
It was then I looked at the ground and noticed I wasn't Alone.

I read the names and Stories of the ones Before;
I couldnt miss it. It was written all over the Floor.

I knelt down, dragging my finger through the dirt.
Oh, what a wonderful scent.

Writing from my heart of hearts,
"to walk a journey thru this road is surely a Life well spent".

-Ricky Hurtado
September 1, 2006

And So I Cry Halt!

I recently read a book which I bought not too long ago called "The End Of Reason" by Dr. Ravi Zacharias. If I had to choose one word to describe what I found in this book I would state the common, Amazing! The book is a rebuttal on "Letter To A Christian Nation" by acclaimed atheist, Sam Harris. Harris' attack on world religion but more overly on the Christian Faith, which I might add, was an attack on the very depth of my core. So I invested into finding out "Why?"- In this, I believe I made an absolutely wonderful choice.

If you've ever found yourself question your being, reason, or common feelings than I assure you that we all have at once. Dr. Zacharias covers four specific topics: Origin, Meaning, Morality, and Destiny. Mainly because they have no foundation within their Reason. Philosophers believe that reason always leads to reason, which I might say is in fact true. The late writer C.S. Lewis takes this kind of thinking to task when he stated: "Reason might conceivably be found to depend on [another reason] and so on; it would not matter how far this process was carried provided you found Reason coming from Reason at each stage. It is only when you are asked to believe in Reason coming from non-reason that you must cry Halt!"

With this said, invest a little. I choose not to be a brainwashed Christian, but rather an educated one who contends on the grounds of truth. So I'm truly a nerd, big deal, right?

The Mind Forgetting From The Mind Forgot

"Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose"

~From the television show The Wonder Years

The quote given is quite a nice way to state what Memory is, or can be. We all know that memory is simply relevant to our life structure, it helps us keep those things which are necessary; things such as knowledge, experience, logic and a number of other substantial necessities. It's unfortunate for some who do not have this free gift of memory within them. This gift allows us to store our personal life's greatest treasures, from feelings, to moments in time we wish could simply have stayed with us a bit longer, and for the imaginative, forever.

Memory has a very dedicated loyalty, and for this I must speak my mind. It's not a cure for problems, nor a solution for pain or heartache. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind was great in its deliverance, but even better in its uproar of questions concerning memory.

Would it ever be possible to pick the memories of certain events, mishaps, and pain caused by the repercussions of decisions and choices we've made to simply be erased? It would be great if we just had a button of some sort, maybe like a big red button that you can push and in some crazy paradox of time, rid yourself of certain memories. Like a personal Memory Loss.

"I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making a much stronger person" -Author Unknown

I must say, not that I strongly disagree with this quote, but I do to some extent. Why? Because one person's philosophy isn't always another's gospel of choice. I can agree that 85% of life's teachings come from mistakes,

I really do. But I know that without a shadow of a doubt there are just things I wish I was able to rid myself of. Things that somewhat haunt, and come back from time-to-time. For this, I feel reserved, as do many. I enjoy life, I live at my fullest. One thing I do understand is that without these followings and episodes in our lives that don't always bring pleasure, and security to one's heart and mind is just a slight problem to keep our mind fixed for the greater things ahead. I guess everything does work in some fashion for a reason, but still...

...Where's the red button?

Thank You.

Jesus & Twitter

I heard a very interesting statement on the radio just weeks ago that was of short stature but nonetheless I still found it interesting. The host said "If facebook was an actual group of people, they would be their own country" - to me, that was as straight as it got. As I've said before, Generation Y is by far the most advanced generation or group of people, naturally. We're in the ether age( the age of man ), and with that comes constantly growing ideas that only link each other up.

One of the things that runs wild in our current time is Social Networking. Fact. From MySpace, to facebook, and now Twitter. I'm sure there are more, but these three are dominant. Twitter is on its own level, I say this because it's very limited but yet fulfilling. It doesn't give you SO many options but allows you simply to just "follow". Brilliant!

Now I say this because following is exactly what this generation needs. A saying I'm very familiar with is "

too many chiefs and not enough indians" which is self explanatory. There are too many folks that want to lead, and yet not enough to follow. This brings me to a great and valid point, and that is, Jesus Christ.

This man who people followed without even having to fully know him, here is an example - "Matthew 4:¹⁸And

Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. ¹⁹And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. ²⁰And they straightway left their nets, and followed him."

I could expound and expound on Jesus alone for hours upon hours. It's said within the scriptures that Christ alone did many things, that if attempted, not even all the books in the world could contain the things which he did. Talk about greatness.

Who are you following? Twitter Jesus, try him.

(by the way - I like this whole short blog method, keeping it limited and sweet)

Real Certainty?

Life. This word is perhaps among the most simplistic of them in our common language, but above all it holds itself as a coin phrase rather than just a word. It has a world of truth within it. Somewhat like the word love. I find even now while writing that my mind is running wild just on the very thought of the word, Life.

What is it about this word that I can't simply understand? Maybe it's that I expect more from it, rather than what it simply means, I don't know?

Mirriam-webster's dictionary reveals this groundbreaking word with such a simple insight, it states:

Life a: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual b: one or more aspects of the process of living.

If you ask me, that's a pretty good definition. Good. I'm glad we had this talk.

Thank You.

Karate's Back

So, I've been studying the martial arts faithfully and consistently for the last 8 years or so, the end of summer will bring my 9th full year. It's been amazing, fun, and a journey. Competing in tournaments whether by fight or katas. Traveling good distances to be part of some great seminars as well as having a small segment of my own. Overall, I must say, I absolutely Love it.

For such a long time I have protected my art, and have loved it. Trying to show people that I do not practice an unpractical art, but a very real art. Most people often feel the unction to shout "hiiii-yaaaaaa" when I tell them about my art, only because of things like Ninja Turtles and The Karate Kid. In which I reply that it's clearly not the case at all :)

I have sparred against kickboxers, jiu jitsu, and judo guys from different places, as well as learning some things from them, and still find reason to believe that I fit into my art of Kenpo so perfectly. I thank the people who have trained with me, for sharing their Kenpo with me. Especially my Pastor, Armando De Loa, who holds a 9th Degree in Kenpo.

Anyways, with that said, I know

this one thing. Karate's Back! After watching the humiliating defeat of Rashad Evans at UFC 98 at the hands of Karate Ace, Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida I'm glad that I have believed in Karate all these years. Through his traditional style and tactics he was able to not get hit, but once or twice in a 9 minute fight. He came with real technique and aggression to "KO" a champion who has not been beaten once.

I honestly believe that places and training centers such as MMA schools, and Jiu jitsu schools, and even kick boxing schools will slowly but surely start advertising "and also Karate" on their windows and fliers.

Watch it happen!

Lyoto Machida:

and here's to the art which I hold sacred, Kenpo.

I find it funny that one of the greatest performers and entertainers of all time took the same art and practice in which I now find myself to be

proficient. A man who can never be forgotten... The King.